


Prologue, AKA: The Dreaded Self Insert Fantroll

by Catflower_Queen



Series: The Tarot Troll Tales [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-05
Updated: 2017-03-05
Packaged: 2018-09-28 13:49:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10107977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catflower_Queen/pseuds/Catflower_Queen
Summary: Your name is REGINA FLORES and you love history, your space-time travelling alien mother, and being an obvious self-insert.





	

Your name is REGINA FLORES

 

You also sometimes go by the name of your HUMANSONA… or at least you would if you ever actually told anyone what the name of that humansona was or admitted to anyone that you even _had_ a humansona, which you won’t do because NO ONE MUST EVER KNOW that you actually made one of those things. In fact, you’re NOT QUITE SURE why you even brought it up just now. But getting back on track…

 

You live in the Troll Kingdom on New Alternia and are PRETTY LUCKY that you do so, because if you had pupated on the old Alternia you would probably have been ASSASSINATED almost immediately due to your TYRIAN BLOOD. Even though the rules of troll monarchy have changed such that your race DOES NOT ACTUALLY HAVE a monarchy, you yourself are still considered a queen, or at least a regent, in certain circles because your “lusus” is a _flos cattus_ , AKA a catflower. Specifically, your lusus is the QUEEN of the catflowers.

 

You put the “lusus” part in parentheses because, technically speaking, while Flowermom may have raised you, she is NOT ACTUALLY A LUSUS, but is instead an alien space-time traveler whose goal is to spread her benevolent reign to every universe that ever has or ever will exist. You think she decided to take time off from her reign to raise you because, as she is both a cat and a flower, she DOES NOT LIKE WATER and CANNOT ACTUALLY SWIM despite the fact that she ABSOLUTELY ADORES FISH, while you, being a seadweller, DO like water and swimming and can therefore catch said fish for her. Also, the tyrian blood running through your veins means that even while you are no longer legally a royal, you still have the POTENTIAL AND INSTINCTS for royalty as part of the core of your very being and can thus rule the New Alternian Catflower Colony in her stead while she is busy spreading her reign elsewhere. This is also why you wear a cartoonish version of her appearance on all of your shirts, since her speedy adoption of you and the FIGHT TO THE DEATH that she probably had with any and all actual lusii who tried to claim you first meant that YOU NEVER ACTUALLY RECEIVED A TYPICAL SIGN and, in fact, DON’T REALLY KNOW HOW THIS WHOLE “SIGN” BUSINESS WORKS on New Alternia.

 

Despite being a seadweller, you actually DON’T SPEND ALL THAT MUCH TIME UNDERWATER unless mom is hungry or you feel like taking a casual swim. At first this was because your hive had to be built on actual—if sandy—soil in deference to your mother’s roots, but now it’s mainly because you prefer human technology over troll technology, and most human technology is not WATERPROOF. You hear that the PRINCE OF HEART and PAGE OF HOPE are working remedying that, but they’re not quite there yet. More things that aren’t waterproof are PAPER and MOST PRIMARY SOURCES HAILING FROM ANCIENT TIMES, which you interact with a lot since, in addition to being a regent for your mother while she is on business elsewhere, you are also a BUDDING HISTORIAN (pun only partially intended).

 

You really like researching and learning about history, especially the history of ancient times, people, and places, and more specifically those times, people, and places which have been DESTROYED BY THE VARIOUS RECKONINGS of SBURB/SGRUB/SWHATEVER Games, which no longer exist due to THE SCRATCHING of some of the sessions of said games, or which have been altered by the RETCON SHENANIGANS of one of your mostly benevolent creators, one HEIR OF BREATH, JOHN EGBERT. The reason you even have access to these materials involves a CONVOLUTED SERIES OF EVENTS AND SHENANIGANS that is only possible since Flowermom is able to instantaneously jump to places where her subjects are dwelling or have spread their spores, and she somehow managed attach on of her spores to John Egbert before he entered his session of SBURB.

 

The fact that Flowermom can get you all this information is especially wonderful because, even more than simply LEARNING about these different times and places with their tangled timeline webs, you like to SHARE what you learn with your friends, quadrantmates, and random strangers who either happen to stumble across your musings on the combined troll/human/carapace/consort internet or whom you successfully manage to semi-kidnap for the dual purpose of spreading both this cool historical knowledge and mom’s spores. That’s why you made this collection of tales and stories: So that you can document the lives and histories of these ancient trolls as you find them. Or even the stories of trolls from the not-so-distant past or who are currently alive if you think they seem interesting enough!

 

 

Your trolltag is flowersRegent and you speak in a manner that is

@ctually pretty boring, in your opinion, m@inly bec@use you’re still new to this whole “typing quirk” business @nd @re worried @bout being too unintelligible to re@d.

If you ever had the (mis)fortune of playing The Game, you’re pretty sure you would be the Sylph of Heart.

 

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is http://catflowerqueen.tumblr.com/ and my askbox is always open!


End file.
